Saturday, September 09, 2006

I call this post: Baby, I got it (BGmusic: Explosivo by Tenacious D)

I like cleaning to songs you can sing and dance to. Awhile ago it was Aretha Franklin on repeat [R-E-S-P-E-C-T! Find out what it means to me!]. Boppy songs by boy bands are also good. Oh, and S Club 7. They may be annoying at normal times, but me cleaning is definitely not a normal concept.

It's amazing how quickly dust and junk can accumulate. Awhile ago, I went on a much-needed cleaning rampage in my area of the room, and guess what? I found one of my pink and purple stripey socks. [Hurrah! Hurrah!] ...I was wondering where that went.

I wonder what the dust under my bed is made of. I want to take it apart and see how old each particle is, where it came from, how it came to be, etc. I know that most household dust is made of dead skin cells, but I also read somewhere that dust can also be made of stardust - meteors that have disintegrated at the earth's atmosphere. Isn't that cool? I wonder if I have had bits of some radioactive meteor under my bed, which, upon inhalation, will slowly creep into my veins, and give me ultra-electromagnetic powers! Like... laser eyes!

I think everyone wants super powers. It's not our fault, really. We've been exposed to the Super Friends Power Rangers, Princess Starla and the Jewel Riders, the Care Bears (!), and the like all our lives. Unless you grew up in a no-TV-until-you're-old-enough-to-understand-calculus household, or if your parents only let you watch shows like Bananas in Pajamas despite your complaints - "But dad, I'm sixteen already! All the other kids are watching Panday and I don't know what they're talking about!" [Okay, I'm exaggerating.]

Anyway, if you were given the chance to have super powers, what would it be? Just one. You can't be Superman - flying and super strength and bullet-bouncing? Only weakness: a rock? Where's the excitement in that? I like super heroes like the Flash or Aquaman - they're hardly ever the center of attention [okay, so Aquaman's virtually useless], but they are interesting. Not like Superman or Batman [who doesn't even have superpowers, just money], probably the most boring superheroes ever. Those two are only interesting when they're busy being their "secret identities".

Okay, where was I? Ah, yes. If you were given the chance to have a super power [just one!], what would it be? I made a list of the powers you may want [plus my comments on each, of course] to help... guide you on your decisions.
  1. Invisibility - this super power is only useful if you're some kind of coward who won't play fair. I don't like the idea of fighting the bad guy when he can't see you. It's just not fair. But invisibility does have its good points. You can stalk people, trip them over, shoplift, etc. undetected. Bwahahaha. Frankly, I think invisibility is a superpower more suitable for supervillains. And useless people - the supergirlfriend or the supergeek [the one who cowers in the corner at the first sign of conflict], who are just there to make the story more "colorful".
  2. Time Manipulation - this super power is usually attributed to supervillains, probably because time manipulation gives you the ability to play God. I like this superpower - who hasn't wished for the ability to turn back time and redo *that conversation*, right? But everything will probably end up going all Butterfly Effect on you anyway, and you may end up killing yourself in your mother's womb, and you don't want that, do you?
  3. Super Strength - boooooring.
  4. Laser Eyes - yawn.
  5. Ability to Communicate with Animals - another useless-person superpower. Who wants to know what that annoying yapping sound means? Want to know why your cat has been giving you the cold shoulder? Baby, you don't want to know.

  6. Stretching - this is probably the most stupid superpower I have heard of, aside from Meltman [with the power to... melt!]. Wow, you can stretch. Oo, I'm so impressed.
  7. Ice/Fire-powers - gives you the ability to... make instant halo-halo! Or an instant isaw stand! Why be a super hero when you can be a super entrepreneur?
  8. Psychic powers - I shall go back to classic literature. Look at Cassandra. She tried to tell everyone what was going to happen, but no-one believed her. And Troy still burned down. HAHA to that.
Conclusion: I CHOOSE.... FLIGHT.

Okay, bird-like three dimensional linear movement through airspace.

I'll get back to you when I get my super powers.