Friday, March 30, 2007

I call this post: Done. [BGmusic: Something Beautiful by Jars of Clay]


What my room looked like last night. [Packing up - I didn't know I had so much clothes]

Shame on me for worrying.

See, my prof, Ma'am Ho, got her secretary to call me for a consultation. I thought this was just procedure, to get our grades maybe [?], but after I found out that I was the only one called, I was a teeny-weeny bit worried. Then, my partner for the group paper texted, asking me if I had been "summoned". I said I had, and he said he thought it was about our paper - did I plagiarize any of it? It's a wonder my jaw didn't unhinge itself and drop itself on the floor. Me? Plagiarize? No freaking way! So I spent the whole afternoon yesterday feeling sorry for myself because I didn't know what I was going to do, and how I was going to defend mysef for something I couldn't possibly do.

The consultation was this morning, and Ma'am Ho confirmed our fears: there was something about the paper that she needed to talk to us about. And, she needed to talk to us... alone. My groupmate was first. I was waiting outside for around thirty-five minutes, thinking up different "happy" endings to this story. [Most of them involving my groupmate pulling out a gun and going berserk, and killing everyone in Econ. Everyone except me. I'd go crazy, and spend the rest of my life in a mental institute strapped to a chair, talking to myself.]

Then it was my turn.

The first thing Ma'am said was that the paper was very good. So good, in fact, that it led her to wonder why we hadn't performed as well in our exams [in other words, our exams probably sucked]. All she needed was for me to explain how we wrote it, who wrote what, etc. I nearly laughed out loud right then and there. I nearly stood up on my chair and yelled a whooping "Hallelujah!"

But I didn't. That would be too weird, even for me.

I just nodded, smiled, and explained how we came up with it.

She ended our meeting with, "Okay, looks like you really wrote it. I'm going to give you a grade of __."

Turns out we had the best paper in the class. Yet another moment when I almost completely lost it.

How the two most delinquent pupils of Econ102 managed to write the best paper in the class was beyond Ma'am Ho, and is beyond me. This is all God, flexing his muscles yet again for me. Oh me of little faith.

I must have looked like such a fool when I was walking from her office - my face looked a little like this: %-) . And after I got past the Econ walkway, that's when I lost it. I jumped, punched the air, wiggled my arse, pulled a calf muscle, and basically lost the little composure I had left - Let them stare. I'm rejoicing here.



Baguio! You better be ready for me! I'm coming tomorrow!

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Tuesday, March 27, 2007

I call this post: What's Your Sign [BGmusic: In the Shadows by The Rasmus]

The hair flip.

The coy smile.

The unwavering eye contact.

The giggle.

The touch on the arm.

These are a few of my unfavorite things. Flirtation and me - we go together like sago and chopped liver. It just doesn't work. The closest thing I have done that resembles flirting was back in high school,when I mustered the courage to look my crush in the eye. I don't know how to flirt [and really, I don't feel like I need to learn this... skill]. And I wouldn't be able to recognize flirtation if it hit me on the head and danced a private performance of Carmen.

Imagine how helpless I feel in my dilemma right now. Ladies and jellybeans, I need your help. See, I have this bubble. This forcefield that no-one is supposed to cross until I'm comfortable enough to tell you what color underwear I'm wearing. If any member of the opposite sex crosses that forcefield before that time, I panic: "Is he coming on to me? What did I learn in my Self-Defense for Women class again? One-two-elbow-groin-nose!"

Hindi naman ako super mafeeling [daw], but I have had some experiences when I just passed these seemingly innocent gestures as just "overly friendly behavior", only to find out that he had something else in mind. Let me illustrate. Once upon a time...
The Bribe
a one-act play by Donya Quixote
based on [many] true stories

Scene 1

Enter DQ. Enter TheGuyFriend.

TheGuyFriend: Hey, have you watched [insert name of recent film here]? Wanna watch it with me?
DQ: Nah, I don't have the time.
TheGuyFriend: Awww... why not?
DQ: I'm pretty busy.
TheGuyFriend: It's just that I don't have anybody to come with me.
DQ: Why don't you ask ____?
TheGuyFriend: Nah, they're all busy.
DQ: Hmmm.
TheGuyFriend: I'll treat you.
DQ: [thinks]
TheGuyFriend: There will be food...
DQ: Okay.
DQ Voice-over: And that, my friends, is what we call DQ's Achilles heel.

Scene 2

At the cinema. DQ is engrossed with the movie. He yawns. Stretches. Ends up with one arm around DQ's shoulder.

DQ Voice-over: Bigat naman ng kamay nito. What the heck is he doing? I wonder... No. Do. Not. Overanalyze. You are friends. Friends do not overanalyze things like this.

She tries to shrug it off, thinking that maybe he didn't know that he had his arm on her shoulder. All to no avail. She ends up watching the movie slouched forward, her elbows on the seat in front of her.

Scene 3

A fast-food place. The two are seated.

TheGuyFriend: ...and that's when she told me that...
DQ Voice-over: It's so nice that GuyFriend is treating me. He's such a nice person. No wonder we're friends. He kinda reminds me of my brother. I wonder how my brother is doing?
DQ: [chewing, nodding] Mm!
TheGuyFriend: ...but my teammate, he jumped and then...
DQ Voice-over: I'm so lucky that I have really nice guy friends I can feel safe around. I don't have to worry about whether he has other intentions, not like with other boys.
DQ: [chewing, nodding] Mm!

Scene 4

The stage is dark. Illuminated by "starlight".

TheGuyFriend: I'll walk you back.
DQ: It's just... one block away.
TheGuyFriend: Hindi, delikado.
DQ: [calculating danger function in her head] ...Ha?
TheGuyFriend: Basta.
DQ Voice-over: He treated you, don't argue.
DQ: Okay then.

They walk in silence.

TheGuyFriend: The stars look so... so... shiny.
DQ: Yeah.
TheGuyFriend: And... bright.
DQ: Yeah.
TheGuyFriend: And... really beautiful.
DQ: Yeah.
TheGuyFriend: Almost as beautiful as...
DQ: OH LOOK! HEREWEAREGOODBYE!

Scene 5

DQ is at her desk, studying. Her phone beeps. She reads her message.

TheGuyFriend Voice-over: Hi there. I enjoyed spending time with you. Thanks for your time.
DQ: [Texting.] Thank you din.
TheGuyFriend Voice-over: I want to tell you something. Don't freak out, okay?
DQ: [Pauses. Thinks. Texts.] Okay. What is it?
TheGuyFriend Voice-over: I think I like you.

Enter music: Carmina Burana. Enter masked "post-modern" dancers clad in black. Lights: red. Echo: "I think I like you... like you... I think I like... like... like..."

DQ: [in the midst of all the dancers] NOOOOOOOO!

The end. Bow.
This has happened more than a couple of times. And now... I have trust issues. My question to the world is:
How can you tell the difference between flirting, friendly flirting, or just plain friendly?
I don't want to overanalyze, but I don't want to write actions off yet again, only to be "shocked" soon afterwards by horrifying revelations. Sigh. I'm so clueless.



New template! Watcha think? I was supposed to upload this next week, but I got impatient. ;P

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Thursday, March 22, 2007

I call this post: Serendipity [BGmusic: Where You Are by Marc Broussard]

The title has nothing to do with my post. It's just that I love Marc Broussard. I came across him by chance when I downloaded "Come Around" a long, long time ago [expecting a totally different song by Rhett Miller]. Anyway, he's just great. ^_^ And I love him even more because when I was downloading more of his songs awhile ago, I found out that he sings Christian songs, which was so cool because I really wasn't expecting that.



I don't have any more classes. [It's only natural, today is the last day of class.]

And so, except for the exams next week, it looks like this is the end. Goodbye, PE, English11, Kas1, Psych101, Econ102, German10, and Bio1. Goodbye. I don't think I'll be missing much of you, but who knows, maybe I will. [I think I may miss PE and German.]

And here's to another ending:
It's time to surrender,
It's been too long pretending,
There's no use in trying,
When the pieces don't fit anymore.
- The Pieces Don't Fit Anymore, James Morrison
Brace yourselves for an incoming cheesy line.

The hardest thing about moving on is not looking back.

Easier said than done, but I think I'm healing at last. [It's about time!] God, help me fight this fight.

PAHABOL:
  • I miss having a sidebar. I think I'll be making yet another template.
  • Still can't post a decent post. My brain has turned into mush. Gomen.

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Wednesday, March 21, 2007

I call this post: Sacrilege! [BGmusic: Where do the Children Play? by Cat Stevens]



Dahil marami akong kailangang gawin, syempre, nagprocrastinate ako. And I successfully mutilated two of the greatest masterpieces of all time. Mabuhay. [If my face in the Mona Lisa looks demented, it's because (a) I flip-horizontalled it, and (b) it's demented anyway, nothing I can do about that.]

Shucks, walang kwenta talaga yung mga recent posts ko. I will do better soon, I swear, on Friday maybe.

Anyway, updates:
  • Exams! I have one on Macbeth tomorrow *rolls eyes*, and a few next week. Strangely enough, I'm not worried. I think I'm too bangag to be worried.
  • Crushes: Good news, wala na akong crush... ata. Yes, this is good news. Crushes take up too much of my thinking energy. Now I can concentrate on... better stuff.
  • Friends: *sigh* I'm getting a little frustrated [that was what my last mini-post was about]... but yesterday, God reminded me that friends should love unconditionally. That means, even though your friends takes you for granted, let love rule. Aja.
  • Papers? Done. ^_^
  • Going to Davao for a week during the summer break. Leaving on April 4, coming back to Manila in time for the summer class registration [on the 12th]. The rest of my family's staying in Davao for a month, which kinda sucks, but I want a productive summer for once.
  • High school reunion! Rachelle's coming home from England, so she's organized this little reunion. Can't hardly wait.
  • Summer class: taking up PE [orienteering/camping hopefully], and maybe German or PI 100, depending on what's available.

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Tuesday, March 20, 2007

I call this post: Forever? [BGmusic: If It Makes You Happy by Sheryl Crow]

Sometimes I wish I could just stop caring.



[Cleaning up my blogroll. If you haven't updated in ages, or if I don't feel like bloghopping your way any more - because you haven't been bloghopping this way anyway, that's why your name isn't there anymore. If your link isn't there and you don't understand why, or you want it back there, contact me. We'll talk.]

Monday, March 19, 2007

I call this post: See DQ Run [BGmusic: Until My Heart Caves In by Audio Adrenaline]

Just another what-I-did post.

I went home to Baguio for the weekend.


1. Friday Night: Sweet Spot "Unrecital" intelligent dance music @ TEATRINO, Promenade, Greenhills.

Mostly techno. Apparentely that's what "intelligent dance music" is supposed to mean. Yeah, techno music. I don't like techno, but the acoustics at Teatrino were great. Someone could have performed Boom Tarat-tarat, and I'd still love the performance [okay, maybe not, but you get my drift]. Drip performed, if you know them. And two ska bands, Juan Pablo Dream [super cute], and this other one I forgot the name of, but had a really cute vocalist [mukha siyang tatay, I swear]. I went with Ate Ror, her friend Rob, and this animator I forgot the name of [I'm so great].

Then off too Baguio.


2. Thursday at Baguio: Relaxed

After last week's 2-3 average sleeping hours, I think I deserved a break. I watched House DVDs [watched until Episode 10 in Season 3. Bwaha], read a little, ate a lot, cuddled with my dog, and ate some more. Didn't even comb my hair or anything. [That's my dog at the dinner table in the photo].


3. Sunday at Baguio: Went to church twice, watched 300, went to Josh's graduation

Why did I go to church twice? Isn't once enough? Yeah, once is enough. My lolo's visiting, so he wanted to meet my uncle, who's a pastor at New Hope fellowship. So after the service at PMA, we went to New Hope. Saw lots of old friends from CCC-Baguio there, which was nice.

300 was super cool. I've found my calling. When I grow up, I want to be a Spartan warrior. Goodbye, UP, hello, Greek sadists.

Since sosyal ang school ni Josh, sa John Hay yung graduation nila. [I remember my graduation... at my half-finished high school auditorium. Sniff. Sniff.] It was nice. Lots of food [yup may buffet pa sila].



Yun lang.

I have exams. Papers. As usual. But I will bloghop tomorrow, if my connection behaves.

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Tuesday, March 13, 2007

I call this post: Cause I am so young now, I am so young, so young now [BGmusic: I Believe in a Thing Called Love by The Darkness]

It really doesn't matter if I never sleep. Or maybe it does. Anyway, I've cut two of my classes so I could catch up on much-needed rest, because I was cramming for an exam until 4am in the morning last night/awhile ago. Sad thing is, I couldn't sleep. I'm tired, but my body refuses to just lie down there and recharge. So here I am, posting even though I wasn't planning on posting until next week.

I don't have anything to talk about. For once... why don't I just blog about my day?

One of my many crushes said hi to me awhile ago. The millisecond we passed each other was such a struggle - it took all the strength I had to stop myself from squealing and doing a little victory dance in the middle of the sidewalk. Actually, I didn't completely succeed - there were definitely traces of a little dance in my walk awhile ago. And I was squishing up my face and smiling and laughing as I was walking, so just imagine the looks I got. Man, I'm such an embarrassment to girlkind. Tsk tsk.

It looks like I won't be going to my dorm's recognition night/formal dinner this Friday. I was looking forward to dressing up and looking like a real girl for a change. My brother's graduating on Sunday so I have to be there. It's not everyday when your "little" brother [quotation marks needed because he's taller than me, and he kinda looks older as well] graduates from high school. He's probably going to Ateneo. So it looks like I'm the only public school kid in my family. I went to a national high school, they went to private school. I'm in UP, they're Ateneans. Nagtitipid ata parents ko sa akin. Haha.

Hm. Didn't have lunch. Didn't have breakfast. [Cause it really doesn't matter if I don't eat.] Well, I did have cake. And dinner.

I've been on "invisible mode" since yesterday - meaning, hindi ako masyadong nagpapakita sa friends ko ngayon. Because of acads. After this week... pwede na... three more days. Yes.

Oh, I want to share this with you guys. Wala lang. This whole post is all "wala lang" anyway, so I might as well.

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Friday, March 09, 2007

I call this post: Bida ng Teleserye. [BGmusic: I'm Gonna Be (500 Miles) by The Proclaimers]
Did you know?
That I wasn't planning on blogging until next weekend, but due to all this pent up... emotion, here I am. I'm sorry for being a teeny-weeny bit angsty on my back-from-hiatus post, but that's precisely why I needed to blog anyway.

Drama. Everybody needs a little bit of it in their lives. Makes us feel important. Makes us feel like we're some kind of protagonist in a badly written noontime teleserye. Admit it, we all love a good cry; more often than not, we welcome the catharsis brought along by wallowing in self-pity with open arms.

But being a drama queen/a Chris Carraba photocopy is tiring. Not necessarily for the drama queen/Chris Carraba xerox, but for the people around the drama queen/Chris Carraba xerox. [By the way, this is addressed to... no-one in particular.] Yes, so you think your life sucks. So you've been hurt. And you think no-one has been as hurt as you have. They don't understand. No-one could understand.

Well, let me tell you one thing, all of us have our sob stories. All of us have had our share of tears, and all of us have our problems. Just because we choose to put a smile on our face and walk upright doesn't mean that our life has been perfect. There is no such thing as a drama-free life. We all star in our own little interwoven teleseryes.

And please get this in your head: the world is not against you. And while you've been so preoccupied with your problems, have you even stopped to think about those people around you - the ones who [believe it or not] have problems of their own, problems you didn't listen to because you couldn't take a second to stop and think about someone other than yourself, problems that werent "as bad" as the problems you've experienced?

[inhale]

Change topic. Before I get carried away. Onto my next rant.

[inhale]

More drama. But this time I'm talking about my teleserye. Finally, after a year, I have finally gotten something that looks very much like closure. [Closure? Ha? What?] Yeah, well. GAH. I might as well talk about it, since it's a pretty well known fact to everyone I know anyway. Last year was a very fast-paced, confusing year for me. I was launched from the comfort of home into my first dormitory experience, and on top of that, it was coed. One thing led to another, and if you use your imagination, I'm sure that you get the picture. Hindi po kami naging anything, like most of you know, NBSB ako, but it was... something din. GRAH. Anyway, after I let myself go for far too long, I got myself together and ended... whatever it was. Anyway, my friend talked to him, he talked to her, told me he needed to talk to me, changed his mind, made my friend relay what he had to say to me, and now... I have to digest all of this and somehow learn to construct sentences with less commas.

[inhale]

More drama. Papers. My Econ102 one in particular. I have to say this: I know I don't belong in Econ. But I'm not going to shift. I've been reading a little bit about David [as in King David of Israel], and he had a thing or two to teach me. When he was anointed by Samuel and he found out that he was going to be King of Israel, what did he do? Did he storm the palace gates to pry the crown from Saul's fingers? No. He went back to his fields, and tended to his sheep like he always had. God didn't mean for David to be a shepherd forever, but I believe that God placed David in care for those sheep for a reason - to teach him how to lead by caring for the frailest of creatures. Now, I'm not saying that I'm suddenly going to be queen of the first Philippine monarchy, but I believe that God does have bigger plans for me, and right now, maybe studying Econ could be a small but vital part of the big picture, and more importantly, a way to show the world God's glory.

And like my dad always says, college just sharpens the mind, and does not necessarily dictate your future. Econ, I give you permission to go ahead and sharpen my mind. [Yuck, fifteen pages of market analysis. Yuck. Er... I mean... Aja! Aja! Fighting!]

[inhales]

PAHABOL: Even more drama. My dad's finally resigning from the AFP. He's planning on being a full-time missionary for ISOT [International School of Theology], which is in Quezon City. Meaning, we're going to leave Baguio for good. This May. It's great, actually, because Papa has wanted this for so long, but there are so many things that I will have to say goodbye to, and so many things I will have to adapt to, and to make the long story short, it's depressing me like crazy [to illustrate, I spent the whole morning lying on my bed, staring at the ceiling, listening to 500 Miles over and over again]. Why?
  • I've lived in Baguio almost all my life. Baguio=Home. It's a beautiful place to grow up in, and a place that I've always loved coming back to.
  • I still want to dorm, but I don't know if Ilang-ilang will still have me if I have a perfectly good residence in not only the NCR, but in QC.
  • If I stop dorming, will I drift away from my friends? All of my close friends here in UP are my dorm friends. I don't want to end up like ____ and ____ and ____, who drifted away because... yun. Oh dear, oh dear I think I'm about to cry.
  • And of course there's my friends in Baguio. I hardly ever see them now that I'm dorming, what more if I actually lived in Manila?
  • What about our dogs?
  • My history is in Baguio. She's my city. I know her. She knows me. You know that song Under the Bridge by Red Hot? That's me and Baguio's song. Quezon City - no - Metro Manila is a bore. It's too big, and I don't think I can ever connect with it. [But then again, I said the same thing about dorming, and look how I ended up loving it.]
  • I've moved homes too many times. I want to just stay in one place for a change.
[inhales]

Okay that's enough ranting for now. I'll be back in about week, after my papers are done. Next time I'll try to be more entertaining. Oh, and sorry if I haven't been bloghopping. You can smell the finals in the air, and the scent is telling me to spend less time on the internet and more time glued to my powerpoint presentations and textbooks. Wonderful, I know. I wish my sense of smell wasn't so acutely sensitive.
On the new template: yeah, it's not funky anymore, but I wanted something really clean for a change. Oh, and if the girl resembles me, it's because it's supposed to be me - my oh-so-very talented sister drew a caricature of me, and voila. I colored the chucks orange, just to make it more... me.

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Friday, March 02, 2007

I'm coming back!

Abangan.