Don't Need the Sunshine: Delusional [?]

delusional [?]

The not-so-official blog of Donya Quixote. Feedback is very much welcome and appreciated.

sounds of the summer

"I don't need the sunshine
Don't need the good times,
Don't need anything anyone's giving,
And I don't mind your lies so keep on talking." - Don't Need the Sunshine, Catatonia

donya quixote

Proud to be Pinay.
Born once upon a time in the late January 1988.
Hails from the highlands; Baguio City.
She dorms.
Getting ~~hazed~~ trained for life at the School of Economics at the University of the Philippines, Diliman.
Member of the UP Campus Crusade for Christ and UP Economics Society.
Just a little bit crazy.
Doesn't want to kiss frogs; faithful to her Dulcine[o]. [NBSB PRIDE!]
Extremely socially inept - uncomfortable with the idea of meeting new people. Would rather curl up with a nice book than go out clubbing.
Loyal to the friends she already has. Cause they're great. [Most of the time. Hehe.] ;)
Usually highly opinionated when it comes to music/film/other media, but her lack of social awareness is disgusting.
A fool for Jesus Christ.
Here's her multiply, friendster, and email. [Has myspace, but it's as good as dead. Still contemplating on whether or not she should resurrect it.]

reader log

the past

Symphony in the Key of C-minor
Tikim ng Kalayaan
The Aftertaste v1.0

June 2006
July 2006
August 2006
September 2006
October 2006
November 2006
December 2006
January 2007
February 2007
March 2007
April 2007
May 2007
June 2007

Credits

Art: DQ + some brushes from... all over the place.
Image Hosting: Imageshack & Imagecave
Code: DQ

Monday, August 28, 2006

[10:44 PM] | Permalink / /

I was going to rant about a little something one of our "well-behaved" politicians said, but you know what? Forget about that.

I have a story to tell you. Medyo mahaba ito, but I ask all of you to read it, please.

Today was another just like any other day. I woke up a little later than I wanted [and missed breakfast in the process], ended up waiting in line for the showers for thirty minutes, got to class late, fell asleep during my Econ lecture, etc. Went to my org's tambayan to get info on a press release article I have to write. Afterwards I went to the dorm and had my lunch, played a little Zuma, then at 2:50PM, I left to go to class.

The woman at the front desk ran after me and asked what my name was. She then handed me an envelope. My mom had told me that I had received a letter from England, and I asked her to mail it to me.

So there I was, walking to the Econ building. I tore one side of the envelope and a fished out a single sheet of paper. It was a little disappointing - Jessie usually writes at least two pages worth of updates. I checked the letter. It wasn't her handwriting.

International Center:

It was signed by her sister Nadia.

So, okay, that's weird, why the heck is Nadia writing to me?

I started reading.

Somewhere along the second sentence, I stopped walking.

That was when I realized that the piece of paper I was holding in my hands was telling me that the last best friend I ever had was dead.

I knew that she was sick. I knew that she wasn't eating. I knew that she was having hallucinations. But I was confident that she'd get better. The doctors would give her medications. She would get better, I thought. And when I was older and I got enough money, I could visit her and we'd go back to Shrivenham and it'd be just like the old days. She wasn't supposed to die.

At first I had to remind myself to breathe.

Then I found myself saying, "No way. No way." over and over again.

I had to be dreaming, right? Things like this don't happen in real life. But the letter was still in my hands.

And I turned around to go back to the dorm.

Ilang-ilang:

I couldn't go inside. I just wanted to walk.

I decided that I wasn't going to class. I needed to digest all of this.

Shopping Center:

Somewhere in front of the Shopping Center, I thought, heck, I should go to class. Hindi naman ako iiyak.

Jessie was my best friend for the three years I was in England. We were two really awkward kids - she had really thick eyeglasses and was just as socially inept as I was. I had frizzy hair and... was just very strange.

After a few more meters, my eyes started watering.

Freshie Walk:

Ang hirap talagang maglakad na umiiyak tapos maraming kumakaway sa iyo. [Tip: do not make eye contact. Just say hi when they're not close enough to see the details of your face, then look away.]

Jessie was really timid, but she could dance. At our school talent show she danced alone to "When the Going Gets Tough" by Boyzone. I knew that she took ballet - tap - jazz lessons, but I didn't know that she could dance like that. She danced alone. After she was finished the auditorium was silent, and then everyone suddenly cheered. She only won the second prize, but I'll never forget the way she looked.

I turn around when I reach the end of Freshie Walk. I couldn't go to class.

Somewhere in front of Molave:

Horror of horrors - I run into someone I know. I suck up all the tears, but it's obvious that there's something wrong. I couldn't say what my problem was, but I wanted to share it. So I handed over the letter, which was still in my hand. Then the tears started falling freely.

She was the first person I was friends with who wore contact lenses. We were only twelve when she started wearing them, and I liked watching her take them on and off. She also started wearing makeup when we were twelve. I didn't notice it until one night when we slept over a friend's house. She was washing her face and I saw some green stuff on her fingers and I was all, "You wear makeup?" She was like, "Duh, yeah."

I guess I was scared that she would grow up and leave me behind. The funny thing was, I was the one who ended up leaving her all alone while I talked with some of my other friends. She never complained.

Back in Ilang-ilang:

I finally finish reading the rest of the letter. She still kept a picture of us in her room.

I tried as hard as I could to gather all the memories I had of her - from the first time we really talked (when everyone else was at an out-of-town field trip and we were stuck at school), the time I lost her Tamagochi (Our French teacher found it and it started beeping during our class. She asked us who knew how to make it shut up. I claimed it after class. Jessie didn't say anything.), watching her eat that disgusting pizza I cooked for DT class, swallowing water together at the wave machine at Oasis, eating that huge dark chocolate egg she bought me for Easter in one day (as a result of that incident, the sight of dark chocolate now makes me want to hurl), going to her riding lesson together, playing skittles in a smokey bar (we were, not surprisingly, the only kids there), running through a field of chamomile with her dog...

Whenever I smell chamomile I remember that afternoon.

[Pwet, naiiyak na ako ulit.]

Inhale.

The really sad thing about it is, I never really told her how much she meant to me. Sure, she knew she was my best friend, and I knew that I was hers. She wrote a German paper on our friendship, about how we were so different (she had a Steps album - need I say more?), but in spite of that, we never fought, and we were best friends. I never showed her anything that told her how much she meant to me.

I should have written more letters. I didn't even send her anything last year. I was too caught up with my freshman year, and my new friends, that I didn't even send her a birthday card. Not even a Christmas card.

I should have sent her that photo I kept promising to send her. The last photo she had of me was on our last day of school, on the bus on the way home. I had ink marks all over my face and my hair was at its frizziest - not my favorite image of myself.

She was the last best friend I ever had. I guess I held up everyone against her, and nobody was ever as good / as nice / as fun as she was. That's part of the reason why it was so hard for me to adjust to my new school when we moved back here - I had this horrible attitude because I didn't like my new schoolmates. They were basically all annoying compared to her. She was waaaay up there and everyone else just couldn't match up.

I don't think I ever hugged her. Nobody hugged each other back then, but that's really not the point. In the three years that we knew each other, I never reached out and hugged her.

So... No regrets? Hah.

[This would be a really good time for me to launch into a series of cuss words. But you insert them here instead. Be creative.]

I've stopped crying now.

Well, almost.

Writing this is just like pouring salt on a fresh wound, you know? But I just want to share this with you.

Because life is just so short. How many times will this have to be repeated for us to digest it?

It took a death of a friend for me to get it.

We are fragile. People you counted on being there forever can very well disappear in a blink of an eye.

Do me a favor and tell your friends how appreciated they are. Hug the ones you've never hugged before. Ask them about their day and listen. Value every moment. Take pictures. Record events on a journal. Just let them know how they are loved.

Please, don't wait until it's too late.

Sunday, August 27, 2006

[11:28 AM] | Permalink / /

I call this post: He makes beautiful things in my life (BGmusic: Big House by Audio Adrenaline)

When I sing your song the world's turning to you
Just the sound of your name is a beautiful thing
I love you, I love you, I love you!

I LOVE YOU! I LOVE YOU! I LOVE YOU!

I'm feeling a little crazy this morning.

It's just that last night I was in a little muddle. I couldn't study or write anything because my mind was too preoccupied with nonexistent problems.

But this morning has been beautiful.

Anyway, since I'm in a particularly hippy-dippy mood today, here's another one of my top ten lists. [Haven't done one of these in a while. I missed doing this. Hehehe.]

Top ~~Ten~~ SEVEN [couldn't think of ten] things that Leave me Smiling Like an Idiot

Romantic comedies - What can I say, I'm a sap. I would really love to be one of those girls who look all cool and go "pffft" at every single romantic comedy they come across, but I'm no good at controlling my face muscles. Try watching a sappy movie with me and check my face every now and then. I'd either be either crying or grinning like an idiot.
Hippy-dippy-happy songs - examples: Rome Wasn't Built in a Day by Morcheeba, Don't Go Breaking My Heart by Elton John and Kiki Lee
Shopping.
Witnessing Kodak moments at unexpected times - there was this one time when I was sitting inside a cafe in Baguio, and a dad and his kid stopped in front of the door. It was raining, so the dad took off his jacket and wrapped it around his kid, and kissed him on the forehead. Then he took his hand and they ran through the rain together. Things like that.
Chocolate.
Feeling beautiful - it doesn't have to be true. I just have to feel like I am. [But usually when I feel like this I suddenly see myself in the mirror, and then I crash and burn and realize that my delusions are just delusions. Boohoo. Boohoo.]
Cancelled classes. [May pasok on Monday. Boohoo. Boohoo.]

Saturday, August 26, 2006

[1:02 PM] | Permalink / /

I call this post: Waka-waka-doo-doo-yeah! (BGmusic: nothing. My roommate's sleeping. The wild thang stayed up all night partying. Hehe.)

What's the difference between a nerd, a geek, and a dork?

I saw this on Yahoo! and I had to check it out. I have my own definition of nerd/geek/dork, but first, I'll summarize what Yahoo! said:

NERD

people of above-average intelligence
place little importance in their appearance
aware of their status, but they don't mind
take pride at the idea of being a nerd, because it means that they're "smart and not wrapped up in superficial worries."

GEEK

like nerds, geeks are smart
tend to focus on technology
as Urban Dictionary explains, these are the people you make fun of in high school and later work for as an adult

DORK

"the biggest insult of the three"
"stupid" people
dorks assume that they're cool
and they smell

Now how's that for discrimination? I am appalled. As a self-proclaimed dork, I cannot allow this definition to be accepted. So here's my differentiation [the right differentiation] of the three freaks. Just to clear things up. Ahem ahem.

NERD

people of above-average intelligence [Yes, yes, it's true.]
people whose lives revolve around school/work/etc [these freaks actually enjoy studying]
and yes, they are generally unattractive. Bwahahahahaha. Kidding. [Or maybe not.]

GEEK

not necessarily smart, but they usually are
generally not athletic
enjoys [and more often than not, obsessed with] "geeky stuff" - video games, comic books, anime, the internet, etc.

DORK

has odd interests, and is often silly at times, usually uncool [but in this exceptional case, manages to stay - teehee - cute]
while old school geeks and nerds tend to continue to accept an "outsider" status and maintain an elite club mentality amongst themselves, dorks generally tend to do the opposite
but they are very socially inept

My family is composed of all three. We're all combinations of the three, but we have our dominant characteristics. My dad is a nerd, all the way, and so is my sister. I'm the dork, my brother's the geek. And my mom's none of the above - she's a [gasp] social butterfly. I guess all families have to have a freak. [Peace tayo, ma!]

Anyhoo... Watching Strangerhood. Bwahahaha. I heart Wade.

Friday, August 25, 2006

[12:45 PM] | Permalink / /

I call this post: This time I'm REALLY back (BGmusic: I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For - Damien Rice)

I just want to say that my last post was really lame because I wasn't finished with it when it was published. I just checked to see where I should place the image, and then my connection was suddenly cut because I forgot to pay our [the room's] internet bill. They should have at least given out a warning, but NOOO, they just - SURPRISE! - cut it off.

Anyway, the important thing is I'm back now. Man oh man do I have a lot of catching up to do. Have to bloghop to let everyone know that I haven't disappeared from the face of the planet, have to update my links... Haaay.

Wow, ang weird. My parents just did a little tagteam maneouvre on me. First, my mom tells me to hang out with my relatives more, and when she went offline, my dad suddenly IMed me and now we're scheduling a dinner date. At least he's not telling [read: nagging] me to exercise... yet. [Note to self: START jogging.]

Okay what was I gonna say again? Ah, yes, the joy of being back and blogging again... Anyway, nothing much has happened. [Nothing unusual / nothing strange / just a little older / that's all. - KANTA! KANTA!]

Is it just me, or is it really hot today? I feel like I'm in a freaking sauna. Phew.

Don't have anything to say.

Just want to let you know that I'm here.

And now, magpapaepal na ako sa mga blogs. Woohoo. What fun.

Anyway, para may sense naman ang post na ito, I want to share some photos with you. [Got these from an email from Abby. The last one almost made me cry.]

Why Don't These Photos Make the News?

Wednesday, August 23, 2006

[4:13 PM] | Permalink / /

I call this post: I'm Alive! (BGmusic: Pagbabalik ng Kwago - Kapatid)

Wow. It's been a week.

I don't think I've left my blog alone for this long in ages. With exams and org events taking up most of my time, I had to tear myself away from my laptop lest I end up surfing the internet instead of studying. So basically it was [almost] no internet for me for a week.

I'm happy to say that I don't have anything to worry about anymore. [Woohoo!] Tapos na ang exams. Tapos na ang requirements. Wala na akong problema. Dapat.

Let me update you guys on what has transpired in my life the past week. Here's a short summary:

Thursday - half day yung classes. I don't remember what I did. I think I studied for something.
Friday - I went to Baguio Friday night!
Saturday - had my hair cut. (It doesn't look any different, just slightly shorter and layered, so I won't post a picture here. My mom didn't like the style I wanted - hair a la Japanes rock star.... sheesh... parents.) Also took advantage of my mom's "sponsorship", and bought groceries. Looots of groceries.
Sunday - stayed home and watched videos.
Monday - got together with some friends from high school, updated each other on new "developements"... etc etc etc... Watched My Super Ex-girlfriend with Jotham [see right]. VOTE FOR HIM! [Siya si Candidate No. 1... Bwahahaha nagpapageant... Ngehehehe...]
Tuesday - went to class. Watched the first part of United 93 with Beau, but wasn't able to finish it because I needed to practice for Econ Idol (pronounced Ee-kawn Idle), where I accompanied Mario on the violin...
Wednesday - TODAY!

That's basically it.

Going home was a little weird.

Wednesday, August 16, 2006

[7:46 PM] | Permalink / /

I call this post: Rotting (BGmusic: The Luckiest - Ben Folds [on loop - I LOOOVE THIS SONG!])

I'm proud to say that I've had a really fruitful day. I've put up the Echoes Literary Board at our org [with some help from Karen, who I love so much - MWAH].

And I cleaned out my fan.

And had too much sugar.

Drat I don't know what to post.

Masyado kasi akong masipag ngayon.

Tuloy, fried na ang brain ko.

Looks like this is time for [ta-daaah!] BLOGTHINGS!

Who Should Paint You: M.C. Escher

Open and raw, you would let your true self show for your portrait.
And even if your painting turned out a bit dark, it would be honest.

What Artist Should Paint Your Portrait?

You Are 69% Vain

You're a little vain, but you also work hard for your good looks.
Just remember, everyone knows you are a total hottie. You don't have to remind them.

How Vain Are You?

You Should Be a Poet

You have a way with words... and a talent for drawing the pure emotions out of experiences.
Your poetry has the potential to make people laugh and cry at the same time. You just need to write it!

What Sort of Artist Should You Be?

*sobbing* I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I couldn't post anything else.

Monday, August 14, 2006

[4:38 PM] | Permalink / /

I call this post: Revealing too much (BGmusic: Secret - Maroon 5 [Why am I listening to Maroon 5?!?! Whatever.])

My underpants are wet.

And that's me revealing too much.

Bwahahahahaha.

Because a wonderful person stole my umbrella, I am umbrellaless (heeheehee try saying that - it sounds funny), and I have been going everywhere in a hooded sweater - my feeble attempt to keep myself dry. Actually, noon pa nawala payong ko. Tinatamad lang akong bumili ng payong. Anyway, I'd rather spend my money on food.

So I went out to Katipunan to get something from my sister, and to buy some stuff from National Bookstore. It was raining only a little, so I went out in my usual hooded sweater instead of borrowing an umbrella from someone, thinking that the rain would have died down once I was finished with my business at Ate Ror's place.

Naturally, I was wrong.

Mehn, parang bumabagyo sa labas. Ayoko naman magtricycle (takot ako sa tricycle), ayoko naman magpapayong sa mga streetkids (ee!), so I ran all the way from Torres Building to National Bookstore. When I made it, I looked like a wet duckling.

At first I was really pissed off at the weatherman for the perfect timing, but when I was walking to the dorm from the jeep, I just accepted my situation for what it was, and made the best out of it. So in front of the International Center I started jumping into all the puddles and kicking water all over the place like a total maniac. It looks funny enough when you're doing that with your friends, but if you're doing that alone, it's ten times more ridiculous looking. Thank goodness there was no-one around. No-one except that long-haired newspaper guy at the waiting shed. Who, being pretty weird himself, didn't pay attention to my spasticated dance moves.

Okay, I warn you guys, my tone will be a little more serious now. Just for now. Pasensya na, pero medyo down talaga ako ngayon. [The incident with the puddles is one of my many ways of coping with sadness.]

Wala lang.

Wait a minute, what do I mean, "wala lang"? Those two words have to be the most annoying words in the Filipino vocabulary. You ask a really serious question, and then you get "wala lang". It's like those people who put "too many", "secret", "dunno" in all the blanks in my autograph books back in grade school. Quit being so vague, people. [Note to self: stop saying "wala lang".]

Okay. Phew. Where was I? Ah yes. I'm feeling a little down in the dumps.

Why?

Oh dear, I don't think it would be appropriate for me to put something as private as that on my blog, so you will have to be content with me blabbering on and on about how I feel. [Yihii... how exciting.]

I'm so disgusted at myself for being so self-centered. Everything just has to be about me. Everyone's world just has to revolve around me. And when it doesn't, I'm - trying to find a less melodramatic word here, but can't find one - heartbroken. [Ew. Heartbroken?] Okay, crushed.

Basta.

Another annoying word. [Note to self: stop saying "basta".]

To everyone I imposed myself on, to everyone I hurt because I was too busy thinking about how I was hurting, to everyone I trampled on to get what I wanted, to everyone who made themselves vulnerable to me only to find out that I am not worthy of your trust, I am sorry.

[How can I make this post more dramatic? Ah yes.]

...

[I think that ellipses did the trick... Obvious ba na hindi ako marunong mag-emo masyado? Sorry guys, I have gone past the I'm-crying-and-I-love-the-drama stage. Now, I'm going through my I'm-crying-but-let's-all-pretend-that-I'm-not stage. Wala lang. - Oh, shoot.]

Sunday, August 13, 2006

[2:08 PM] | Permalink / /

I call this post: D'oh! (BGmusic: It's Too Late - Evermore)

Yet again, I have made a total fool of myself.

I'm dangerous when I don't have my contacts on. Although the damage on my eyes isn't that big (I have 100-125 vision), I am 200% more likely to do something stupid when I don't have my contacts/glasses on.

Awhile ago, I was going to the Coop to buy some toothpaste. There was this guy sitting outside, enjoying his cup of gulaman. Minding his own business. Well, not exactly, because he was looking at me. Then I realized that I knew him, so I said "UI!"

And then when I got closer, I realized that he wasn't who I thought he was. I didn't know this person at all. He looked really bewildered, and to make matters worse, I was walking towards him and squinting like a prowling lion until I realized that I didn't know him. All I could say was, "Ay, mali." And then, I ran to the Coop and tried strangling myself with an extension wire.

I watched Click yesterday instead of Lady in the Water. Galleria changed the last show of Lady in the Water to an advanced screening of My Super Ex-Girlfriend. Was a little disappointed, because I really wanted to watch Lady in the Water. [I heart M. Night Shylaman.]

Anyway, Click wasn't bad. It wasn't great, and it wasn't as funny as I expected it to be. Actually, medyo madrama nga eh. Okay, I admit it, I cried a bit. A lot. But it doesn't take a lot to make me cry in movies. [I cried during The Sixth Sense. And ET. And The Exorcist.] The movie was a little cheesy, and there was nothing original in it, but it had a nice message. It's definitely not one of my favorite movies, but it's pretty good.

I just realized that I didn't tell you about our acquaintance party at the dorm. I'm happy to say that I didn't have to dance to Buttons. [We scratched that out after realizing that our dormmates' eyebrows would only rise to the ceiling, since Ilang-ilang is an all-girls dorm.] Instead, we lip-synced and "danced" to Reach by S Club 7, one of the cheesiest songs ever known to mankind [aaaand happens to be my favorite song by the evil group, naturally].

We were terrible, but we entertained. The audience loved us. We wrecked the backdrop - hinubaran namin si Johnny Depp. [Our backdrop was Johnny Depp in a pink kimono. Won't explain why, because the explanation isn't that interesting.] The stage split during our performance. There was a lot of screaming involved.

Sikat na naman ako sa Ilang. I was supposed to "lie low" this sem, but the spotlight just can't help but cast a light on my beautiful [harharhar] face. Paano naman, ako yung pinaka-sabog sa performance namin. Ann's friends were asking her who that skinny maputi girl in pink was, and if she usually acted that drugged-up in real life.

In Kalay, I was the girl who held "rock concerts" in the hallway, complete with a walis guitar and a bubble wand. I'm the girl who banged her head on the floor when she got a leetle frustrated [I never expected it to hurt that much, let alone swell]. I'm the girl who says hi to inanimate objects when she's in a good mood.

So to answer their question - yes, girls, bangag talaga ako.

PAHABOL: Oh, I've been tagged.

Rules:

This is simple. Just:

1. Emphasize all lines that apply to you.
2. Tag five more people after you finish, complete with links to their sites.
3. Let the person you've tagged KNOW that they've been tagged, for Pete's sake.

I wish I was a different ethnicity.
I have an eating disorder.
I'm short.
I'm tall.
I think I'm really attractive. [Hahaha - DQ]
I prefer winter over summer.
I'm a geek.
I'm a shopaholic.
I'm reasonably intelligent.
I'm attracted to girls.
I'm attracted to boys.
I like British accents.
I smoke regularly.
I drink regularly.
I smoke socially.
I drink socially.
I get drunk easily.
I do drugs.
I will never date a bad kisser.
I've lied to avoid kissing them again.
I brush my hair at least 50 times a night.
I'm religious. [Religion isn't important - it's your faith that saves you. - DQ]
I'm not religious but have morals.
I lie frequently.
I'm impulsive.
I'm hardworking.
I liked "Eternal Sunshine Of The Spotless Mind".
"She's All That" is one of my favourite movies.
I'm good at History.
I speak more than two languages.
I enjoy taking pictures.
I like spending money on myself.
I like spending money on others.
I have a regular income.
I earn money on a job-by-job basis.
I pay my own bills.
I rely on my parents for money.
I can cook.
I enjoy cleaning.
Tidyness is a must in my life.
I like clutter.
My idea of good music is Britney Spears.
I have heard of Blonde Redhead.
I enjoy Blonde Redhead.
I'm fashion-conscious.
I have good taste. [According to me, syempre, maganda yung taste ko. Mwehehehe - DQ]
People tell me I have good taste.
I excel academically. [I wish. - DQ]
I'm told I have yet to fulfill my potential.
I'm good at sports.
I'm good at certain sports.
I couldn't do sports to save my life.
I'm creative.
I'm artistically inclined.
I wanna be an artist when I grow up.
I wanna be an engineer when I grow up.
I eat when I'm upset.
I cannot adapt to change.
I'm interested in politics.
I have shoplifted.
I download MP3s.
I've done underage drinking.
I've gone underage clubbing.
I can dance reasonably well.
I can dance extremely well.
I dance like a cardboard gorilla.
I can sing.
I sing like someone stepped on my foot.
I can swim.
I enjoy surveys.
I enjoy surveys when I'm bored.
I keep a journal.
My teachers don't like me.
I enjoy controversy.
I can be a bitch/bastard.
I have a thing for bad boys/girls.
I have tattoos.
I've been in a nudist colony.
I'm not sure if I want to have children.
I'm not sure if I'll get married.
I know who I will marry.
I'm interesting. [Ooooows? - DQ]
I'm a good liar.
People enjoy talking to me. [Only the people I enjoy talking to, syempre. - DQ]
I annoy people from time to time.
I'm a born leader. [Bwahahaha - DQ]
I'm a born leader but shouldn't lead.
I enjoy felching.
I have a foot fetish.
I have a shoe fetish.
I watch "Sex and the City".
I don't think Sarah Jessica Parker is pretty.
I wanna be J.Lo.
I cut myself.
I've cut myself.
I hate people who pretend to be suicidal.
I hate popular people.
I think cheerleading is a sport.
I'm photogenic.
I live in Chucks.
I think graffiti is art.
I have dated a criminal.
I have been cheated on.
I have cheated on someone.
I have a temper.
I like playgrounds.
I dance in the rain.
I'm obsessed with Shakespeare.
I have tanlines.
My favourite color is pink.
My favourite color is black.
I would classify myself as emo.
I'm musically inclined.
I like listening to music.
I like music-blasting cars.
Thongs are comfortable.
I like flip-flops.
I know what monogamy is...
...and I believe in it.
I wanna be a social worker when I grow up.
I have sibling/s.
My sibling/s annoy me.
I think "South Park" is funny.
I believe in LOVE.

The oh-so-lucky ones are: [eeny-meeny-miney-mo] Pam, JM, Jigs, Beverly, and Shang.

Saturday, August 12, 2006

[12:42 PM] | Permalink / /

I call this post: Jetlag (BGmusic: Rent Soundtrack - I'll Cover You [Reprise])

Guys, don't smoke. Click here to see why. Warning: Not for the squeamish. I was going to post a photo here but I figured that I should give you the choice to see it or not to see it, and not just impose the truth on you. But you should see it.

My body clock is so messed up. Last night, I couldn't get to sleep until it 3AM, and when I woke up, Ann was standing next to me asking if I wanted to get lunch. I was like, "What the hey?! What time is it?"

Noon na pala. Sarap daw ng tulog ko. I was supposed to go to Econ to help out with the Saturday CDC [Community Developement Churva - we babysit kids on Saturdays and tutor sixth graders on Wednesdays], but obviously, I didn't.

Gonna watch Lady in the Water later. Woohoo. I can finally get out of UP.

Living on campus has its perks [you can wake up thirty minutes before your class starts and still make it - ten minutes if you don't take a shower, two minutes if you go to class in your pyjamas], but sometimes it's nice to get out and see what life out there is like. Before I went to UP, I didn't want to study in Metro Manila because - well - Manila is somekinda fugly. But UP isn't - it's a whole different world. Sometimes it's good to get out there and just inhale the pollution. I believe in what Nietzche said - What doesn't kill you makes you stronger. [Wait, was that him? Man, I suck at Philo. Nag-register lang sa akin yung vague and ambiguous terms, and nothing else.]

Have nothing to say.

Nothing to say.

Nothing to say.

Just visit the link I put up there. Comment nalang kayo dun. Tapos, kain tayo.

Friday, August 11, 2006

[5:27 PM] | Permalink / /

I call this post: Ang Pagbabalik (BGmusic: If It Makes You Happy - Sheryl Crow)

*singing*
Guess who's back?
Back again
I am back
Tell a friend
Guess who's back?
Guess who's back?
Guess who's back?
Guess who's back?
*pirate* AAAAAAAARRRRRRR...

Hay ang sarap talagang matulog, no? Awhile ago when I got back from my FA class, I couldn't help but run to my bed to give it a big I-missed-you-baybeh hug. [I don't know if any have you have tried hugging a bed. If you haven't, you should try it - feel the love.]

You can't believe how stressed out I've been. My eyebags are scary. I'd post a picture here, but my camera's low bat. Ah, cell phone nalang... Shucks low bat din. Okay, thank your lucky stars you don't have to see my ow-my-golay-eets-ALIVE! face. And to think that I delivered a report in front of our class looking like I had died, been buried, and dug up again. But that's life. One does not have control over these sorts of things.

Why exactly do I look like an extra from Dawn of the Dead? I had three hours sleep last last night. Yesterday, I didn't eat breakfast because it was disgusting, and I didn't have lunch because I needed to cram for my exam and eating would make me groggier than I already was. So I had only one meal yesterday.

Then I stayed up until around 4:45am last night finishing our powerpoint presentation for FA. I was on the verge of tears, because I really really wanted to sleep but I couldn't until I finished it. Jerome, my groupmate, stayed up with me until 12AM. Naawa naman ako sa kaniya, pinatulog ko na. [He asked me awhile ago what time I finished, and I lied and said 2AM. I didn't want to come off as a martyr - kahit na totoo. Hehehee.] Thank goodness my roommate Winsome is a night owl, and she went to sleep around the same time I did. But she didn't have to wake up at 7AM so she could print out handouts and xerox fifty copies. Which I did.

I finished everything. It's just so hard to believe. Thank you, God. Thank you talaga. I can do all things through he who gives me strength! WOOHOO!

Ang galing talaga kahapon. I was so depressed because even though I stayed up so late studying, I did horribly in the exam. I was on my way to the Faculty Center to buy myself a half-long hotdog (with lots and lots of mustard), and I was like, "God, bakit? Nag-aral naman ako, ah! Bakit ganuun? Bakit nakalimutan ko ang formula for elasticity? BAKIIIIT?!" Basically just feeling sorry for myself.

Then God cheered me up. He sent my crush.

Hay. Ang babaw talaga ng kaligayahan ko. After that I was skipping down freshie walk. Who cares if I did badly? Nakita ko ang crush ko at kinamusta niya ako. Di bale na lang kung may girlfriend. Hehehe.

Hay. Sarap talagang matulog.

Lang kwentang post talaga ito. At least I'm back. Anyway, read this post by Christie. Sweet. Natuwa talaga ako. :D

Wednesday, August 09, 2006

[9:13 PM] | Permalink / /

Looking for updates? Sorry! Am busy busy busy.

Come back on Friday.

To console you, here's a photo of me making a fool of myself.

I swear, my legs don't look that stick-like in real life.

Sunday, August 06, 2006

[5:27 PM] | Permalink / /

I call this post: Why Don't You Kill Me Instead? [BGmusic: nothing. The sound of rain. I know it's selfish, but I really wish that classes will be cancelled tomorrow. I need to study. *taunting the weatherman* YOU CALL THAT RAIN?! THAT AIN'T RAIN!!! Show me whatcha really got!!!]

A bajillion sorry's to my readers who have been anticipating updates since yesterday. You can't believe how much work I have to do. I just finished doing my STS powerpoint presentation, and I'm going to start on my FA28 presentation later, even though NONE of my groupmates have emailed me their research. I should have seen this coming. I already did a little bit of research myself, but it looks like I should have researched for the whole thing. Man oh man I'm frustrated.

Anyway, Sunday na pala. I don't like Sundays very much. Sundays are agitating - knowing that Monday is just around the corner makes me want to hide under my bed, hoping that no-one finds me and that I'll suddenly acquire the ability to survive without food, water, and human interaction.

So, what exactly am I ~~dreading~~ looking forward to this week?

Chronological na lang, para masaya.

Tuesday (running for The Worst Day of My Life award):

FA 28: Reporting. Since it looks like I'm going to be stuck doing all the research, compiling all of them into a powerpoint presentation, printing and photocopying the handouts, I'm going to leave the reporting to my groupmates. If they show traces of even the smallest little smidget of annoyance at their assigned jobs, I may end up on the death row sooner than I had planned. [Question to self: May death row pa ba?]

Stat101: Exam. Haven't studied because of the presentations I have to make/research for. Someone save me please.

STS: Reporting. Tapos na presentation ko. Nothing to worry about. I don't have to work with uncooperative groupmates here.

DORM ACQUAINTANCE PARTY!: I probably won't die after the acquaintance party, but I'm betting that I will be very much tempted to take matters of fate into my own hands after I make a fool of myself on Tuesday night. See, all the new residents of Ilang-ilang have to come up with a presentation. We're dancing. None of us can dance. I haven't danced since my Lolo and Lola's golden anniversary, and that was... FIVE YEARS AGO!!! To make matters worse, I've been assigned to dance to freaking Buttons by The Pussycat Dolls. Let's just say that our "dance" involves some stripping and basically all the slutty dance moves our minds could come up with. Not a pretty sight. Thank goodness all girls' dorm lang kami. [My worst nightmare is having my friends from Molave come over to crash the party. Oh dear oh dear.]

Thursday:

Econ 102: Exam. I'm gonna have to study really hard for this one. All my classmates seem to be able to follow the lesson. I always find myself staring out the window when I should be listening, so now I'm really behind. The problem is, with all of THOSE deadlines (see above), when can I find the time to study? Huhuhuhuhu...

Just looking at what I have typed is making me tired.

That aside, I want to tell you all that FINALLY, I have acquired one-hundred testimonials on my friendster. Now, I know this may not sound like a big deal to you cybercelebrities out there who have, what, 500 testimonials, but it's a big deal for me. You will celebrate with me, and that's an order.

WOOHOO! WOOHOO!

Next weekend, to treat myself, I shall watch a movie. I want to watch four:

Lady in the Water - Dapat last weekend pa ito. But I had work to do. Boohoo. Boohoo.
Sukob - Have never watched a Filipino horror movie before. They say this one's good. And my friends want to watch it.
Just My Luck - Oh how I hate admitting to wanting to watch this. But it's true, I do want to watch it. Even if anorexic Lindsay Lohan is in it. Why? Well, when I watched the trailer [which shows the poor guy tripping over everything, getting splashed at puddles... basically busy being a really good-looking bad luck magnet], the first thing I thought was, "Oh my gosh, that's me!" So I have to watch it. It's my movie.
The Breakup - Last weekend, if I wasn't going to watch Lady in the Water, I was going to watch the Breakup. Ended up watching neither. Boohoo. Boohoo.

I also want to finish reading Orwell's 1984. And borrow Jam's copy of Love in the Time of Cholera. I haven't read a decent book since summer. I'm growing stoofider at a frighteningly exponential rate.

Okay that's it for now. Tah. Wish me luck.

P.S. I *heart* Bingo's choco mint cookie sandwich. Suuugaaaar... Hee hee hee.

Friday, August 04, 2006

[12:15 PM] | Permalink / /

I call this post: Here Comes the Sun [BGmusic: Throw Your Arms Around Me - Pearl Jam & Ben Harper]

"Miss Morales, not following instructions!"

My FA professor singled me out for the first time today. It's about time. I had been anticipating this moment since our first meeting. Apparentely, my reflection paper was supposed to be double spaced. Mine was single spaced. But at least I was able to concoct two pages. Single-spaced na yun, ha.

It wasn't easy. The first page came out like a dream, if I may say so myself. The second page was a different story. Lemme just tell you that it was the worst case of mental constipation I have had in ages.

What did I tell my lovely professor? Nagpalusot lang ako, syempre. I don't think he bought my excuse ["My file got corrupted, so I did text recover, and I couldn't edit it anymore because I was already getting it printed... yadda yadda yadda..."], but he was merciful. Hopefully, he won't subtract any points because of that.

It's our turn to report on Tuesday. Crap. Oh well. Kaya toh.

Malapit na ang UPCAT. To all of you hoping to get into UP, good luck to you.

My brother's going to be taking the UPCAT on Sunday. He'll be taking the exam on Sunday. Hope he's prepared. Hope he gets in.

My fingers are crossed.

People keep saying how the world is so small. There's a song, for Pepe's sake. So why is it that I keep ignoring the fact that the campus is smaller? A LOT smaller? There was this one time in my STS class when I was telling Eden about this cute guy I met earlier, who looked a lot like [this good-looking upperclassman]. Then, our groupmate, who was sitting next to Eden, said, "Paano mo kilala si [good-looking upperclassman]?" Reaction ko naman: "Haaaaa? Kilala mo siyaaaaa?" And he said, "Yeah, magkaibigan kami." Siyyyyomai.

Something similar happened to me yesterday. I don't want to go into details here anymore. The world is far too teeny.

Thursday, August 03, 2006

[11:39 AM] | Permalink / /

Phew. Just came back from the exam.

How was it?

Not to bad. I'm glad to say that all that studying paid off.

That is, I think it did. Hopefully, it did.

Thank God it's over.

Enough about the exam. Enough. Down, doggy. Down.

Anyway, last Tuesday our STS class at the CS Auditorium was moved to NIGS, Room 015... [Okay, let's skip the details, shall we?] I saw something that I want to share with you guys. Just because.

TADAAAH!

What is that? I hear you ask.

That, my dears, is my desk from last semester. That, my dears, is the product of complete and utter boredom. That, my dears, is what I was doing as I was earning my grade of ____ [nakakahiya]. That, my dears, is what NatSci1 does to you. [Advice to UP students who haven't taken NatSci1 yet: Thank your lucky stars you haven't taken it. Don't.]

This is what started it:

Those are my initials. I marked my chair so I would remember where I sat.

See? It's me!

This is from a fan. Maraming nag-respond sa ginawa kong art [di siya vandalism, art siya]. If you can't read this, it says, "Ano pangalan? Ganda naman artwork mo! Pls. reply!" Nagreply ako: "....Secret."

Natuwa lang ako, kasi nareunite ako with my beloved chair. [I'd buy that chair if I knew how to.] If any of you want to see it, go to NIGS [The National Institute of Geological Science], Room 015. May seat numbers ang seats dun, you won't have any trouble finding it. Seat number... 63 I think.

Oh my gulay just realized my Stat problem set is due today. Oh my gulay. I haven't done it. I was too preoccupied with Econ. Sheeemayyyys...

Good luck to me. Gonna do it now, after I stop hyperventilating.

Wednesday, August 02, 2006

[9:21 AM] | Permalink / /

Donya Quixote can't come out and play.

She is studying [Yep, you read that right, I'M STUDYING!] for an upcoming Economics 101 exam tomorrow. Today she will not even touch her laptop. She will stow it away under her bed, until she is satisfied with what she has learned. She will not go online until tomorrow's exam. She will only use the computer to read up on her homework. Not to go online. Not even to "research".

Before this post ends, Donya Quixote would like to add a few parting words.

Tuesday, August 01, 2006

[10:31 AM] | Permalink / /

I call this post: Headache [BGmusic: Mama Told Me Not to Come - Tom Jones & Stereophonics]

I just came back from the Fine Arts building. Apparentely, we have no class. [I concluded that upon seeing the empty, unlit auditorium.] My initial reaction was the normal one: Rejoicing. Then I realized, wait a second, this must be our "writing break". Which means... my paper is due - oh my ninnypants - this Friday.

I hate writing papers. You'd think that by the rate I update my blog, I love writing them, but the whole thing is just absurd. I guess it's fine if you're only required to write about what you've learned, but nooooo, you have to have an opinion. But, wait a second, what if you don't have one?

SUCKS TO BE YOU!

I don't think it would surprise you to find out that I don't have an opinion, or any "thoughts" on the three documentaries we have watched in FA28. Wait, I do have an opinion. Ehem ehem ehem.

I think Philippine art is cool. I wish more Filipinos knew about Philippine art.

How I'm going to stretch that into two pages is beyond me.

I also have another paper to write for CWTS, but since the grade for CWTS doesn't have any weight on my GWA, I'm not going to get myself worked up for that. Plus, it's supposed to be two pages, pero double-spaced naman, kaya hindi masyadong demanding.

[The images below - except for the exceptionally gorgeous one at the bottom - are all pictures of friends from friendster. I'm just putting them here to prove a point. Lahat naman kayo cute eh. Exposure na rin toh. Who knows, baka ma-discover pa kayo?]

School aside, meron akong napakaganda na observation. Bat andaming lying-on-the-bed pictures? Tulad ng mga toh:

This isn't a unique case for girls. Meron din sa mga guys. [Although they are a little harder to track down - siningit ko lang pala yung last two pictures. Sabi kasi ni JM - na may lying-on-the-bed pic din siya, so of course, I couldn't help but post it - siya yung napaka-seksi na nilalang sa last pic. Tapos, yung isa - schoolmate ko siya noon sa high school - nakita ko lang. Dinagdag ko na rin, para masaya.]

Uso din ang couple pics.

Bakit ganun? Bakit andami?

Dahil ba mas cute ang isang tao pag nakahiga? Dahil ba mukhang sexy na hindi naman super slutty ang dating? Baka nga.

Anyway, you may be wondering if I, the queen of pacuteness, have one of these lying-on-the-bed-pics.

As a matter of fact, I do.

But you will have to scroll down.

More.

More.

More

More.

Ngyahahaha. Ngyahahaha. Ngyahahaha. [Man, that's actually kinda scary.]

...I really should be writing my paper.